10 Top Tips for…

Contacting your DNA Matches

Connecting with your DNA matches holds immense potential for breaking through genealogical brick walls and discovering long-lost relatives. While the list of matches is exciting, reaching out for the first time can feel a bit daunting. Think of it like a first introduction – you want to make a good impression and encourage further interaction.

Here are 10 essential tips to help you connect effectively with your DNA matches and enhance your genealogical journey:

TIP 1

Start with the Goal of Interaction: Remember, the primary goal of your first message is simply to gauge interest in further communication. Frame your outreach with this in mind.

TIP 2

Keep Your Message Concise and Focused: There's no need to share your entire family history in the initial message. A brief, focused message is less likely to overwhelm your match.

TIP 3

Ask a Specific, Straightforward Question: Instead of broad inquiries, ask a question directly related to a specific surname or location you are researching. For instance, "Do you have any Smiths in your family tree?".

TIP 4

Make the Conversation About Them: People generally enjoy discussing their own families. Show genuine interest in their ancestry.

TIP 5

Look at Their Profile and Tree (If Available): Take time to review your match's profile. Do they have a family tree or specific surnames/locations listed.

TIP 6

Tailor Your Questions to Their Information: Based on what you find in their profile or tree, ask specific questions. For example, if they list a surname you're researching, ask "I noticed the surname 'Jones' in your ancestry... Do you know where your Jones family originated?". This shows you've done your homework.

TIP 7

Share Essential Details About Yourself: To help your match understand who you are, include your tester name or username. If you tested on multiple platforms, mention where you saw the match. Also, let them know if you have a linked family tree. You might also briefly mention the estimated relationship or amount of shared DNA, but be mindful not to overwhelm beginners.

TIP 8

Offer Encouragement to Those Without Trees: Many new testers haven't built a tree yet. Instead of asking for detailed genealogical information right away, offer a helping hand. A simple message suggesting how helpful adding a tree can be, and that it's relatively easy, can make a big difference. Today's beginners can become tomorrow's experienced collaborators.

TIP 9

Provide an Easy Way to Respond: Make it simple for your match to reply, even if they don't have detailed information. Include a closing that encourages a response regardless of their current ability to assist. For example, "Even if you don't have time to look into this right now, please just reply to let me know you received my message". This confirms your message was received and respects their time. Consider offering alternative contact methods like your email address, as some people prefer direct email.

TIP 10

Be Patient, Respectful, and Kind: Remember that response rates vary, and not everyone will reply for various reasons. Don't take silence personally. You could consider a polite follow-up after a few months, but avoid being pushy. Finally, approach every interaction with kindness and understanding, especially as DNA discoveries can sometimes reveal sensitive information. This fosters a positive environment for building relationships.

These tips, grounded in effective communication strategies, can help you navigate the exciting process of connecting with your DNA matches and potentially unlock new branches of your family tree.